Battling an unimaginable disorder

Hello!
My name is Esra.

I am here to share with a very hard, but valuable story of battling an unimaginable eating disorder which I’m sure everyone knows that this disorder often gets unrecognised in the community and by medical/ mental health professionals.

I first became diagnosed with an eating disorder in mid 2020 and how I came about to being diagnosed was when I first sought help from an eating disorder specialist.

The specialist and I were talking about the issues/ symptoms I had been experiencing at the time and then I was given a questionnaire to complete. This involved ticking and circling boxes of the questionnaire to say what signs and symptoms I was experiencing.

After a few sessions and the specialist calculating my results from the questionnaire, I was told that I have been diagnosed with OSFED (Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder). I didn’t know what this diagnosis meant or how it would affect me physically and mentally until early this year, my health was becoming really bad and out of control and that I had taken myself into hospital for medical assessment.

Eventually, after a few tests and scans, I was told that I was becoming seriously medically unwell and for me and my health to be taken care of, I was admitted to a ward in the hospital.

Spending about a week in hospital, I had been released as I was medically stable enough and that the medical condition I had developed with my eating disorder was reversed and treated safely.

However, two weeks after my first admission, I had a relapse and had again, taken myself back into hospital and was medically unwell, but I can say this much, that my health didn’t reach crisis point. I was admitted back into the same ward, in the hospital and this time, my admission was about 3 weeks as the medical nurses and doctors had to monitor my eating disorder and to make sure that I wasn’t going to have any further medical complications.

Since coming out of hospital after my two admissions, I feel much better in myself and I know that with the right help and support from the medical and/or mental health professionals, I know that I can get better and won’t need another relapse which might require another hospital admission. Yes, coming out of hospital, I’ve had my ups and downs with my diagnosis, but I guess that I should say that the majority of the days I’ve had with coping with my eating disorder have been positive. I continue to engage in therapy, have ongoing treatment from both my medical and mental health professionals and that I know I’ve got friends who I can engage in conversations with for social support.

For those of you living with OSFED disorder, you are not alone. You might often feel like giving up on treatment and feel that it’s not worth it, but for someone like myself who’s been through the situation of wanting to give up on treatment, lacking nutrition to now thinking about recovery, I know you can do what I have had to do which is to overcome the ups and downs of battling the unimaginable pain of living with an eating disorder, but one thing that I’d like to encourage you to do is keep seeking help from your professional support team, don’t give up on your treatment.

Recovery is possible and I believe that you can get better from your eating disorder. Your diagnosis doesn’t define you for who you are as an individual. Your diagnosis won’t need to consume your life anymore.

Three words:

Recovery. Is. Possible. Remember that!

Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Esra